little old ladies behind the wheel

In American culture, we love our cars. We never give up our cars. Even when we get old. Thank goodness. When I am 95 years old, I will absolutely exercise my right to putter down the highway at whatever speed I choose with the top down and the dogs hanging their heads out the window — all our tongues flapping in the breeze.

With that in mind, I hereby honor little old lady drivers with two stories and two video clips. (Keep in mind that the video clips only work well if you have a broadband internet connection.)

THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a California State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that “22″ was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”

THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM BOISE

This is a true story…

A Boise Airport visitor returned her rental car to the airport car-rental counter Tuesday — by driving into the terminal.

A “confused senior citizen,” whose name and age were not released, followed an outside “terminal access” sign as she bumped her rented minivan through a set of automatic-opening double-doors on the west end and through the terminal, past the baggage claim area to the rotunda, airport spokeswoman Larissa Stouffer said.

The woman stopped when she reached the rental-car counter.

“The lucky thing is she didn’t hit anything,” Stouffer said. There was no damage to the terminal building, no one was hurt and the out-of-town woman, who departed on a flight later in the morning, was not cited. The incident highlighted the need for barriers to block the door, which Stouffer said the airport had planned to install but had not gotten around to. Officials blocked the door Tuesday with a large trash can as a temporary measure, she said.

From Idaho Statesman, Sept 29, 2004

HOW LITTLE OLD LADIES AMUSE THEMSELVES…

… while driving with their husbands on country roads… Click HERE to play the movie.